I’m sure you probably sang that topic but it’s so much more that lyrics to a song when you have children!
I remember when I was driving one day with my daughter and she was around four years old. We were behind the first person at the merge sign and the road was busy so they were not able to get out. I had just finished singing a song when I heard my sweet little girl say “Buddy, you better pick a lane because whichever one you go in, we’re going in the other one!”
I was shocked because even though that day I was happy and relaxed I was hearing her repeating something that I had muttered on rushed school drop off, late for a meeting morning. I hadn’t purposefully set out to teach her to be impatient, but I had modelled it and in that moment I was very ashamed.
What characteristics do you want your children to have? Do you want them to share, be kind, forgiving, loving and peaceful?
You are the basis of all those things in your child’s developing personality.
Your role as Co-parent will present many challenges sometimes in modelling this to your little copycats. Although the ideal may be to never lose your cool under pressure those things happen. Here are some special ways you can model kindness to your child’s other parent. You will be their Hero for it;
- Say Yes Where Possible. If it’s not something you will remember in five years it doesn’t really matter now.
- Make sure your children are with their other parent on their birthday. It’s important to them. Bonus points if you provide your child with a birthday gift for them:)
- Make sure your children get to see their other parent on all important holidays; Christmas, Easter, etc. If it’s your time ask the other parent if they would like to split the day.
- Make sure you inform the other parent of all concerts, special tournaments, activities for the children.
- Put pictures of your child’s other parent in their bedroom.
- Make efforts to say nice things about the other parent to your child
- When there’s a decision to be made about your child, ask the other parent’s opinion
- Smile when you see the other parent and wave. It will instantly ease your child’s tension.
As Co-parents these efforts may help to redevelop your damaged relationship, and it may not. This relationship is not your objective for your kindness. You are teaching your child how you want them to behave in life.